On the Boat
	YUFFIE: Hey, buddy. I'm looking for some stuff. Something to keep me nice and relaxed. You know what I mean?
	CLOUD: If you wanted a tranquilizer, you could have just asked for one. Freak.
	YUFFIE: At least I don't hear voices.
	CLOUD: You're just jealous that you're always alone. You seen Aeris?
	YUFFIE: I don't know. When I'm not relaxed my memory gets kind of patchy, you follow?
	CLOUD: Alright, here!
	YUFFIE: She's out on the deck with everyone else. Pleasure doing business with you.
	AERIS: Cloud, do you have a big airship?
	CLOUD: Excuse me?
	AERIS: I'd really like to take a ride on a very large airship. Gigantic. Mammoth, even. Like the one I saw in Junon harbor. Can we ride on that one someday?
	CLOUD: Sorry, lady. I don't even have an airship. You should talk to Rufus, I hear he has a nice fat one . . . wait, are we still talking about airships?
	AERIS: I have no idea. Could you go over there and talk to Tifa? I'm kind of weirded out, now.
	TIFA: These uniforms are making me realize that I have daddy issues. Is there anything that I can do for you, sir?
	CLOUD: Okay, you're creeping me out. I'm going to go talk to Red XIII.
	RED XIII: I think this uniform really brings out the color of my fur. And by fur, I mean skin, for I am, for all intents and purposes, human.
	CLOUD: It's kind of refreshing to be the sane one in a group. You uh, keep watching for Sephiroth or something. I'm going to check on Barrett.
	BARRETT: Look at Rufus and Heidigger in there. They think they're so great, with their money and their power. Well the proletariat will show them someday, oh yes we will.
	CLOUD: I don't know what you're talking about, but I think the alarm just went off.
	BARRETT: Well jinkies, what are we waiting for? Let's gather the gang and hunt for Sephiroth!
	AERIS: Everything's gone so eerily calm. It's almost like nothing will happen until we confront what I know lies beneath! It's in the vault. ROSEBUD!
	YUFFIE: Aeris, why do you gotta be such a downer all the time?
	CLOUD: Sephiroth, together at last! I mean I've come to kill you.
	SEPHIROTH: Who are you?
	CLOUD: I -- you don't remember me? Alright, that's it, things are gonna get ugly.
	SEPHIROTH: Not with me they won't. Have my mommy.
	BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT: ROAR! We are evil when employed in this fashion!
	TIFA: That isn't Sephiroth, unless he got really ugly. In a tentacley fashion.
	JENOVA: Silence, mortal! Prepare to be reunionated!
	CLOUD: Your lack of speed and competence is just no match for me.
	RED XIII: Apparently we're going to be docking soon. What the hell are we going to do?
	CLOUD: Let's hide!
	YUFFIE: Brilliant! If we hide cleverly enough, the dock workers of Costa Del Sol surely won't notice the decks covered in blood and the fact that everyone on board is dead. Okay, maybe not so brilliant. Pass the tranquilizers. If I'm going out, I'm going out stoned.
	TIFA: I second that motion.
	RED XIII: Angst
	BRIGHT FLASH OF DARK: Yes, I am a gap in time. The developers probably realized that they had no way out of this one, but didn't actually want to change anything, so they just jumped forward in time. Just accept that this game that you thought was good was actually full of inconsistences like this and made very little sense.
	CLOUD: -And then I said, "With a coat of red paint."
	YUFFIE: Why did I think it was a good idea to come with you guys? Oh yeah, the materia. Eye on the prize, Yuffie, eye on the prize.
	CLOUD: My prize is Sephiroth. Let's fan out and search for him in town. Despite the fact that he seems to stay in towns only when he gets to set them on fire, he might be here.
	BARRETT: You just want to scope babes in bikinis, don't you? Fuck that noise. I'm going to strut around in my sailor suit, humming "In the Navy".
	TIFA: I'm going to work on my tan.
	AERIS: I might, but only if Cloud wants me to.
	YUFFIE: I'm going to get a menial and demeaning job.
	FEMINIST FAN: Weep, my proud country. Weep.
	RED XIII: I'm off to improve my prehensile tail muscles.
	CLOUD: Everyone knows that only dogs have prehensile tails.
	HOJO: No, lions.
	CLOUD: Hey, it's Hojo!
	HOJO: Hey, it's me! Now, go away. I'm working on my tan.
	CLOUD: But I prefer girls with fair complexions.
	HOJO: . . . Killing you would be too much work. Hello, messiahspecimen.
	AERIS: My name is Aeris. I had a mother.
	HOJO: Oh yeah. So, how's seniormessiahspecimen?
	AERIS: She's been dead for at least a decade.
	HOJO: Yeah, whatever. Head west if you want Sephiroth. My special Sephiroth compass tells me where he is.
	TIFA: Could we borrow that? It sounds useful.
	HOJO: No, I need it for . . . things. Things of an incredibly complicated and specialized nature. Now shoo.
	AERIS: I predict train tracks in our future.
	YUFFIE: You're psychic!
	RED XIII: Wow, North Corel sure is a run-down shanty town. And I thought Junon harbor was bad.
	YUFFIE: It was bad. This is just a lot worse. I'd resort to petty thievery here, but there's nothing worth stealing.
	BARRETT: Hey, shut up. This used to be my home town, yo.
	LYNCH MOB: Why the hell did you come back?! This is all your fault. SHAME!!!
	AERIS: Barrett, what are they talking about?
	BARRETT: Fine, I'll tell you about my sordid past. Yeesh, stop begging.
	BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT: I am the flashback. Get it? Got it? Good. It's time for some no-bullshit honesty.
	YOUNG DYNE: I am an allegorical representation of traditionalism.
	YOUNG BARRETT: I am an allegorical representation of modernism.
	SCARLETT: I am an allegorical representation of a big slut the irrationality of rationalized systems. In other words, the fact that modern things tend to bite people in the ass. Oh, and I'm also a lady in red, which means I betray and/or molest people.
	BARRETT: And then Shinra planned an explosion in the town reactor and everyone died. Except for me and Dyne. Which may or may not be significant.
	TIFA: My foreshadowing meter just went blip.
	GOLDEN SAUCER EMPLOYEE: If you want to go to the Golden Saucer, just get on the tram?
	YUFFIE: Please?
	TIFA: Yeah, it could be fun.
	RED XIII: Better than sleeping in North Corel.
	CLOUD: Sure, we need a break from saving the world. Let's use some of our hard-earned money on something that will probably be a big ol' waste of time.
	GROUP: Yeah!

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