Gongaga
	CLOUD: I eavesdrop with no vestige of shame.
	RENO: Hey, Rude. What girl do you like? Because you, like I, are definitely entirely heterosexual.
	RUDE: My favorite girl would have to be you Tifa. She's got some polygons on her, you know?
	RENO: Aw, poor Elena. Well, maybe she wouldn't mind a little menage e trois, you know?
	RUDE: Dude, Elena likes Tseng. It's been all over the grapevine for like two months now.
	RENO: Man, I am so out of the loop. I should totally go to more company parties.
	CLOUD: You know, being around this makes me feel smarter.
	ELENA: I listen to them do this all the time. That's why I've lost parts of my brain to their senseless prattle. Like the part that tells me if I should divulge information or not - holy shit, they're here! I'm going to run away quickly, you two fight them like you can win or something.
	RUDE: We're going to take you down.
	TIFA: Down where? Down under?
	AERIS: I hate it there.
	RUDE: Oh. Well in that case, we'll be going. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
	RENO: Even though we're retreating, we're still victorious!
	YUFFIE: Well, that makes no sense. I guess he doesn't have to be smart as long as he's pretty.
	CLOUD: It's gotten me this far.
	BARRETT: She wasn't talkin-- nevermind.
	AERIS: You know, it's weird that they were waiting here for us. It's almost like they were informed of our future whereabouts by someone.
	CAIT SITH: Like a spy? How absolutely absurd. No one is a spy. Especially not me.
	FARMERS: You look like a fella who passed through here a while back. Name of Zack. You heard of him?
	CLOUD: Nope.
	AERIS AND TIFA: Zack?
	CLOUD: You two know anything?
	AERIS: Well, you're kind of like a blonde, stupid, ambiguously gay version of him. We were involved, if you know what I mean and I think you do. You remind me of him, sometimes.
	CLOUD: How about you, Tifa?
	TIFA: Er . . . hey! Look over there!
	CLOUD: At that failed reactor? My eyes are curiously drawn to it.
	TIFA: I wish to know of its twisted machinations.
	CLOUD: No, you are not meant to know.
	SCARLET: Hmm . . . nope, this reactor just doesn't have big enough materia for me. Do you know of any above-average, big, large, no HUGE materia? Mammoth, even. But seriously, HUGE materia. Got any clue where they might be? I need the HUGE materia to make an ULTIMATE WEAPON.
	TSENG: We should be going, Scarlet.
	CLOUD: What could she possibly be planning to do next?
	RED XIII: Please, you're kidding. Really, you have to be. That wasn't even foreshadowing; it was too blatant.
	CLOUD: Scarlet may not love you, Titan, but I do.
	TITAN: Aw, I feel all warm and tingly inside.
	CAIT SITH: Shouldn't we be driving the buggy and catching up to Sephiroth instead of bonding with the Summon materia? I told Shinra we'd be in Cosmo Canyon by sundown. Let's get a move on, people.
	BARRETT: Hang on a sec, did you just say--
	CLOUD: You heard the cat-moogle, let's go.
	BUGGY: I'm not feeling well. Coincidentally, it's sundown now. And the only mechanic in the entire world lives in Cosmo Canyon, which happens to be just over yonder hill. Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
	CLOUD: Well, I think so, Buggy, but even if I could find overalls that would fit Red XIII, I'm not sure I could convince him to devote his life to playing the organ like that.
	TIFA: Only dogs can wear overalls.
	AERIS: No, lions.
	RED XIII: Whatever. Hey, it's my hometown. And unlike all the other ones our godforsaken group of misfits hails from, it's actually a happy place full of hippies and stargazers.
	YUFFIE: I foresee delicious drugs.
	PACIFIST GUARD: Hello, Nanaki!
	RED XIII: Aw, my tribal name. Hello, random person whose very existence is an oxymoron. How can you be a guard if you're a pacifist? Which I assume you are, because everyone here is.
	PACIFIST GUARD: You know, you're right. Time to spontaneously combust.
	CAIT SITH: So, Nanaki... is that like your porn name?
	RED XIII: No, it's my true name.
	AERIS: Excellent! Now that we know your true name, we can make you do our bidding.
	RED XIII: I already do your bidding.
	TIFA: He has a point.
	YUFFIE: Damn him and his cursed lion logic.
	BARRETT: No, only a dog could be that logical.
	RED XIII: Whatever. I'm going to run off now. The rest of you can marvel at my homeland's many wonders.
	CLOUD: Hee hee. They live in the most adorable houses cut into the cliff. Someday I aspire to own one.
	CAIT SITH: You already own a house. It's in Costa Del Sol, remember?
	CLOUD: But... cliff house!
	RED XIII: Hey Cloud, want to come see my grandfather with me?
	CLOUD: Sure, why not.
	AERIS: And while you're at it, tell us all about your family history.
	RED XIII: I have an Oedipus complex.
	YUFFIE: Fascinating.
	BUGENHAGEN: Hello.
	AERIS: Oh my God, it's the Owl-Man from my nightmares! Die, foul beast, lest your presence taint this otherwise holy place!
	RED XIII: I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but this is Bugenhagen. He's my grandfather. He is not, to my knowledge, an Owl-Man.
	AERIS: Owl-Men everywhere . . . coming to get me. Two by two, hands of blue. Two by two. Hands of blue.
	BUGENHAGEN: Nanaki is a baby.
	RED XIII: Am not.
	BUGENHAGEN: Are, too. Don't argue with me; I'm always right. A grave Catastrophe is coming soon. I believe you'll find it in North Corel.
	FORESHADOWING METER: Blip.
	BUGENHAGEN: Oh, and the planet's dying. And when that happens, everyone will be screwed.
	TIFA: Isn't there anything we can do about it?
	BUGENHAGEN: Nah, just accept it fatalistically, as I have, and realize that everyone's days are numbered. And while we're waiting for the inevitable, messy end, I allow you to come into my Planetarium.
	CLOUD: Listen, pal, I don't know what you heard, but I'm not into that kinky stuff.
	TIFA: Time to play eco-babble bingo.
	BUGENHAGEN: Lifestream. Spirit energy. Hemp. Planet. Healing crystals. Materia. Feng shui. Chi. Mako. Aloe. Destruction. Reactor. Death. Tie-dye. Apocalypse.
	YUFFIE: Excuse me, sir. Bingo.
	BUGENHAGEN: Hmm? Oh, very well. Maybe you guys should go sit around a fire and be pessimistic now. It's part of the mourning process about the utter futility of your very existence.
	COSMO CANDLE: Roast marshmallows over me and consider yourself compost.
	BARRETT: I promised Avalanche that once we killed everyone in Midgar by destroying all the reactors, we'd come to Cosmo Canyon and celebrate the death of modernist ideology. Too bad they're all dead now.
	CLOUD: I'm not dead.
	TIFA: Me, neither.
	AERIS: Funnily enough, neither am I.
	BARRETT: That'll change Oh, you're right! There's still hope.
	YUFFIE: This place may not have good materia, but at least they rock out with the ganja.
	CAIT SITH: Ah, that smell brings back all kinds of wacky memories.
	AERIS: The elders here reaffirmed just how special I am. I am the last of my race. I must do everything alone.
	RED XIII: Me, too.
	TIFA: Cloud, it seems that you're becoming a different person. It says here in paragraph four that you're not allowed to do that.
	CLOUD: You can sue me for breach of contract after we save the world.
	RED XIII: Still with the Oedipus complex.
	BUGENHAGEN: It's time for me to take you into a place haunted by dangerous spirits. Do not be afraid. Well actually, be afraid. Be very, very afraid.
	CLOUD: Meep.
	BUGENHAGEN: Riddle me silly, riddle me mog: which of Red XIII's family members is a proud guard-dog?
	CAIT SITH: Lion.
	RED XIII: Whatever. What could the answer possibly be? Holy crap! The answer is my father? I never would have expected that in a million years.
	GI NATTAK: I can be killed with curative items. One hit kill with an X-Potion. Fear my might.
	SETO: I am petrified.
	CLOUD: Well, we can cure that with a Soft.
	BUGENHAGEN: I'm afraid that isn't possible.
	CLOUD: Why not? Soft's cure petrification, right? With enough softs, he will be unpetrified. Simple as that.
	BUGENHAGEN: Must I refer you to the "That's Not Death This Is Death Rule?" Don't question my knowledge, peon. PWNED!
	RED XIII: No longer with the Oedipus complex. I will now continue my journey.
	BRIGHT FLASH OF DARK: But no one heard that, so they all think he's staying. Note the surprise in the forthcoming dialogue. Just face it, this game's script is rather incoherent.
	AERIS: Well, the buggy's been fixed now that we've cured Red XIII of one of his psychological problems. Let's get going.
	RED XIII: I'm coming with you!
	TIFA: Gosh, that is so surprising.
	BARRETT: I thought you were staying here, despite your previous dialogue obviously indicating otherwise.
	YUFFIE: Meh. Dogs are indecisive. We shouldn't trust him to think for himself too much.
	CLOUD: Everyone knows that lions are the indecisive ones.
	RED XIII: I hate all of you.

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